Monday, March 10, 2014

Pushing Past Giving Up

That's it. You give up. Give in. Give out.

For most people - and if you aren't most people I need to hear from you - there comes a point in driving toward a goal that you throw in the towel. Not always or on every project, but at least once in your life you've probably hit roadblocks so hard, depressing and flattening that you lose the desire to even keep going.

Yes, we all know you have to keep pushing and working at it, but what happens when you do keep at it, and keep at it, and keep at it...and nothing changes.

That fire you had, the desire to achieve that goal, the passion for what it meant you, all seem to extinguish.

At least it did for me.

I find I'm just going through the motions. Still doing those things I "need" to do to achieve the goal but I'm feeling resigned that I'll never get there. I DON'T LIKE IT BUT I CAN'T FIND MY FIRE.

So I'm asking for real insight. What do you do to reignite your passion for something? And I don't mean "just keep going." I am going, but without conviction.

So team, any advice on pushing past giving up and finding your purpose again?


  1. I would suggest think about why you started in the first place. Maybe it's not what you honestly want anymore. If it is, what can you do differently? If you are in a rut, things have become to routine, find a new way to approach it. Like with writing, if you tell yourself you're going to write a chapter a week. Take a break and maybe instead write a joke one of the characters might say at a dinner party or a story one of the characters might tell at a party. Not necessarily something you will keep in the book, just something to stir your imagination about the character. If your goal is a fitness one, try a new routine, find a pole dancing class or something you have never tried before or have not done in a long time. I guess I'm saying think about what you really want, why you want it and how to make it new again.

  2. Huh. Yeah, I faced that. I face it fairly consistently...recently. ;-)

    How do I reignite my spark? First, I allow myself the doubt and I spend time taking great care of myself. Because something slapped me down, I need that hand up and a long, deep hug.

    Secondly, I take some time off. Even if it's just a day and I do something else. Anything. Give the brain a chance to stop spinning and allow the heart a rest.

    Thirdly, I look for some small success and gaze at it with great love. I cherish it, remember where it leads, imagine it returning to the great blaze that once fired my desire. I surround myself in the brightness, no matter how small the spark.

    Oddly enough, these three things often lead to a gentle nudge toward not giving up. And taking the little step...which leads to another. I may never run with abandon as I did before...but I will enjoy the scenary wherever I travel.

  3. Wow - both excellent responses to my - I hate to admit it - negative post today that I really needed insight on. Thank you both so much - working through it in my head at work and hope to spend some time on it tonight.

    1. I'm around to goole chat if you need some face-to-face feedback. And you know I've been there...too many times to count.

  4. Sweetie, there's nothing wrong with deciding that what you set out to achieve just isn't what you really want for yourself anymore.

    People change, the world changes around us, and when we set these goals for ourselves sometimes we don't even know what it is we're working toward because it's a shiny thing in the future that can't be seen with clear knowledge until you've immersed yourself in it for a while.

    When we finally do see that thing for what it really is, sometimes we decide it isn't what we thought it would be. And that's ok.

    Then again, you make the decision after giving it your best shot and knowing exactly what you're giving up if you release yourself from that goal. You have to be confident that you're not giving up just because it's hard or because of outside influences that you can't control.

    I think a lot of people come to this kind of a crossroads at some point in whatever journey they're on, and when I reach it every so often (because I've definitely faced it more than once along the way) I always decide to keep going because the process still makes me happy (not necessarily easy). When it starts being something that no longer brings me joy just in the creation of it, then it'll be a much more difficult decision.

    You'll make the right choice for you!


What did you decide today?